Journal One: Coming Home
Reflections on the novel Shooting From the Heart authored by Robert Goldman
I hold my daughter as she screams, not wanting to sleep. It is the perfect moment to consider happiness. Happiness is an elusive animal. Most nights it is just the struggle of getting enough sleep achieved. There are many moments in my past where I had judged happiness differently and where I had the room to make as many leisurely judgements on such subjects as I pleased.
There is an intimacy to having a new child in your life that forces long, meandering walks through the garden paths of philosophy. In yoga, you are told to exist in the moment. While parenting, you are forced to. Every moment is precious, exhausting, and filled with an exhausted wildfire. We are no longer our own animals.
When we talk about success, it is quite easy to list fancy words and quantify with the calculable measurability of money, but our greatest successes are not those in the public light, but those that are quiet, immeasurable and sometimes which take place in those slightly pre-dawn hours where our little hearts struggle to go back to sleep.
Our hearts, as parents, live outside our body. They are not tame. They are not easily talked down. They teach us about the world within ourselves just as we teach them about the world outside themselves. We are creators, but also we must be understanders and accepters.
It was only through this creation of life that I began to accept my role as a creator in other walks of life. I dallied. I danced. I dreamed. I didn’t dare.
One act of irrevocable creation can change that. One full on commitment to something outside ourselves opens us up to others until moment after moment, like glittering dominoes in the late afternoon sunlight, we just are. We live, breathe, and exist to create world after world. It opens us up inside. It cracks open the shell we had pecked at all our lives daring tremulous glimpses into a bigger, brighter, scary, and wondrous place. The world as it could be.
We can create worlds because we create this one. We create this world every day. We create it with every thought, every action, every deed.
Create your world.
And make it a good one.